My friend Swandive dropped by and commented that the drumming seems to be a vehicle for transformation. I couldn't agree more. My friend Lucia and I are always talking about the parallels between being a Christian and being a drumming student.
The big one, of course, is humility. I am learning that true humility is possible when you are fearless. Or maybe it is that you can be fearless when you are humble. Doesn't that seem oxymoronic? (Or maybe just moronic, LOL!)
But really, when my teacher says I am not ready to do a certain thing, like play out with him at a gig, instead of feeling sad or disappointed, I feel great joy that the implication is that someday I will be ready. And I feel safe in his assessment of my skills... like he won't set me up to bomb. He will take care of me and give me just what I can handle... or maybe a little bit more so that in my mistakes I can grow.
God pushes me that way, too.
An another thing- I am learning to accept the fact that I may never be a great drummer. Maybe I will be just ok. But THAT is ok, too. Because I am the best drummer I can be. As a Christian, I can't possibly hope to be 'great'. That isn't the nature of a spiritual walk. I am just the best I can be and that is enough.
And sometimes I stumble. I falter on a beat. I get tired and have to stop. I lose a rhythm and can't find it again. Or, as a Christian, I act like an asshole despite my best intentions. I screw up. Yet even in those mistakes, there is the Grace of being able to learn and improve and sometimes deepen my understanding of the relationship because I am humble enough to be
fearless.
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